Saturday, August 21, 2010

Back from the probing hippies who clipped my fingernails too short

I prefer to think of summer as a time when relaxation is an inalienable given, when employers ensure each of their faithful associates inhale a deep breath of clean air, a hot dog or three, and at least one travel-mug of home-made sangria. To consider the season in any other way would be a travesty, and effectively drive workers further from the pit stop of sanity and gender-specific restrooms. No frozen popsicles in the break-room fridge at 4 in the afternoon? That, my managerial friend, is a problem of critical proportions, worthy of a comment card in the corporately-planted suggestion box. Take note, mid-level career-path jockeys- there must always be popsicles in the fridge, as there must always be cookies in the HR manager's top right desk drawer.

I have jumped into the deep-end of the summer project pool with both socks on. The backyard, location of my initial alien-type abduction, and therefore separate from any federally-placed gag order, has undergone a makeover of limited, yet property-value enhancing, quality. The scorch marks from the mid-range thrusters would not fade, no matter what Scott's Lawn Care product I put down. (Stage 3 Weed and Feed, really? At $60 a bag, I expected better.) So, I've stripped the soil bare, wheelbarrow by back-wrenching wheelbarrow, and laid a reclaimed-brick BBQ patio down. The initial design called for a 9x9 square, but the spread pattern of blackened Kentucky bluegrass necessitated an outcropping along the upper right edge. Therefore, as I had the material to accomodate, the grill has been placed on it's own privatized annex, sort of a 'ready-room' for brisket and chops. The potted herb gardens, previously homed next to the shed, have been moved to the patio border, and a discounted boxwood from Wentworth Greenhouse fills the top corner. Unwilling to alienate my dwarf Big Boy tomato plant, I've moved that to the patio edge as well. Time will tell if it was a positive transition. We'll be having the innagural BBQ Labor Day weekend. Hope you can make it.